Acknowledgements x
Author's Note xi
Introduction to the 5th Edition 1
Chapter : Taking A Look at Ourselves: Th e Emotional Stages of Marriage Breakdown 11
Some Observations on Marriage 13
Emotional Stages 14
Marriage Counselling: Getting Help to Cope 19
Why Did Th is Happen? The Causes of Divorce 20
Transition People: Cause or Casualty 21
To Sum Up 22
Chapter 2: Taking A Look At Lawyers: Take Charge of the Relationship 23
Family Law Lawyers: A Special Breed 24
Finding A Lawyer 24
The Ideal Family Law Lawyer 25
The "Rights" Movements 26
Confl icts of Interest 27
Family Law and Legal Aid 27
The Retainer (or What Everyone Else Calls a Contract) 28
Confidentiality 30
The First Interview with Your Lawyer 31
If You are Dissatisfied with Your Lawyer 32
Firing Your Lawyer 35
What to Do When You Are Unhappy about Your Lawyer's Bill 37
To Sum Up 38
Chapter 3: Taking a Look at the Process: Understanding Family Law and the Legal System 40
The Legal System 42
Onus of Proof 43
Family Law and the Courts 43
The Rules of Court 47
To Sum Up 56
Chapter 4: Getting a Divorce: Dissolving the Marriage Vows 58
Grounds for Divorce 59
Reconciliation (Hey, Sometimes It Happens) 63
Th e Procedure for a Divorce 64
Uncontested Divorces 66
Urgently Needed Divorce 66
Joint Application for Divorce 67
Contested Divorces 67
Bars to Divorce 68
Marriages of Convenience 69
Legal Fees for Divorce 70
To Sum Up 71
Chapter 5: Dividing Th e Family’s Property: Get Your Fair Share from the Marriage Partnership 73
Time Limitations: Waiting Can Cost you Your Rights 75
What Is "Property"? 75
What Is Debt? 76
Financial Statements 77
Value of Assets and Liabilities 78
How Is Value Determined? 79
What Is not Divided? Exempt Property 81
Date of Valuation 83
Unequal Division of Property Values 83
Th e Matrimonial Home 84
Pensions 85
Canada Pension Plan (CPP) 88
Paying an Amount to Resolve Property 89
Some Tax Considerations 89
To Sum Up 92
Chapter 6: Obligations to the Children of a Divorce: Every Parent’s Top Priority 94
Custody and Access: Understanding Terminology 95
Who Is a Child? 98
How Is Custody Determined? 100
Help from Professionals When Determining Custody 105
Hotspots 106
Strategic Considerations 116
Paternity Agreements 122
What Will We Tell the Children? 122
A Warning 130
To Sum Up 130
Chapter 7: Support: Financial Assistance aft er Separation 133
Child Support 135
Who Is a Parent? 139
Who Is a Child? 140
Spousal Support 149
Parental Support 158
To Sum Up 159
Chapter 8: Common-Law Spouses Have Rights too: (Just Not the Same as Married Couples) 162
The Meaning of "Common Law" 162
Children in Common-Law Relationships 164
Spousal Support 164
Property Division for Common-Law Couples 166
Federal Legislation 171
Cohabitation Agreements 171
Obtain Legal Advice 171
To Sum Up 172
Chapter 9: Settling Your Diff erences: Avoiding the Courtroom 174
1. Off ers to Settle 176
2. Minutes of Settlement 178
3. Orders on Consent 179
4. Separation Agreements 179
5. Memorandum of Understanding 186
To Sum Up 187
Chapter 10: Not Settling Your Diff erences: Going to Court 188
Th e Courtroom 190
Th e Paper Chase 192
Th e Trial Itself 192
Appeals 199
Conclusion 200
Chapter 11: Alternatives to Court: Mediation, Arbitration and Collaborative Family Law 202
Mediation 203
Arbitration 210
Mediation/Arbitration 210
Religious Arbitration 211
Collaborative Family Law 212
Strategic Considerations for Alternatives to the Court 213
To Sum Up 214
Chapter 12: Enforcing Family Law Orders: Making an Order Stick 216
Custody Enforcement 217
The Hague Convention on Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction 219
Tips on Dealing with Abductions 220
Canada Customs and Travelling Outside Canada 221
Access Enforcement 223
Support Enforcement 225
The Support Enforcement Offices 227
Property Enforcement 229
Personal Restraining Orders 231
Contempt 232
To Sum Up 233
Chapter 13: Grandparents and "Other Interested Persons" 234
Grandparents—A Special Status 235
"Other Persons" 242
To Sum Up 243
Chapter 14: Domestic Violence: A Problem that Just Won't Go Away 244
Violence: Th e Myths 246
Why Are Women Assaulted? 247
Why Do Men do It? 248
What Can be Done? 249
Strategic Considerations and Domestic Violence 252
To Sum Up 255
Chapter 15: Marriage Contracts and Cohabitation Agreements: Managing Your Relationship—Contractually 257
Marriage Contracts 258
Cohabitation Agreements 261
Setting Aside Domestic Contracts 263
To Sum Up 265
Chapter 16: Family Law and Your Will 267
Making a Will 267
Divorce and Your Will 270
First Meeting with the Divorce Lawyer 271
To Sum Up 272
Chapter 17: Self-Representation: How to Represent Yourself 274
Introduction 274
A 10-Step Legal Framework for Your Case 275
50 Tips for Your Day in Court 288
Dealing with Lawyers 291
Dealing with Court Staff 292
Dealing with the Judge 292
Getting Help from Lawyers: Th e Limited Retainer 292
Legal Research 293
Internet Resources 295
How to Complain 298
To Sum Up 299
Appendix A: Some Important Paperwork 300
Th e Retainer Form 300
A Separation Agreement 302
Th e Family Law Client History Form 319
Appendix B (To be Attached to a Full Separation Agreement): The Parenting Plan 321
Appendix C: Table of Common-Law Rights and Responsibilities 330
Appendix D: Canadian Child Support Guidelines 332
A Glossary of Family Law Terms 338
Index 345
