Exercises and Tables xi
Preface xv
Acknowledgments xix
The Authors xxi
Introduction 1
CHAPTER 1 Getting Started: Are Men and Women Just Born Different or Do They Learn to Be Different? 7
Learning Objectives 7
Introduction 8
Section 1: Introduction to Gender: It’s Complicated 10
Section 2: What Do Women and Men Really Think of Each Other? 19
Section 3: Transcending Gender: The Androgynous Answer 23
CHAPTER 2 He Speaks, She Speaks: What Different Things They Say 35
Learning Objectives 35
Introduction 36
Section 1: Talk the Talk: Facts and Fiction About Sex Differences in Speech Communication 37
Section 2: Different Speech Styles, Outcomes, and Missed Connections 48
Action Steps for Men 62
Action Steps for Women 63
CHAPTER 3 Gender Conversation Technicalities: Interruptions, Overlapping, and Other Turn-Taking Dilemmas 65
Learning Objectives 65
Introduction 66
Section 1: How He and She Interrupt and Overlap Their Talk 67
Section 2: Women’s and Men’s Perspectives: Other and Self 77
Action Steps for Men 85
Action Steps for Women 86
CHAPTER 4 Women, Men, and Unspoken Messages 87
Learning Objectives 87
Introduction 88
Section 1: Unspoken Gender Messages 88
Section 2: Gender Touch and Power at Work 101
Section 3: Space: The Final Gender Frontier 115
Section 4: Something in the Way She and He Move: Women’s and Men’s Gestures and Movements 123
The Voice’s Message 130
Action Steps for Men 132
Action Steps for Women 133
CHAPTER 5 How She and He Listen 135
Learning Objectives 135
Introduction 136
Section 1: Listening Between Him and Her 137
Section 2: Women and Men Do Listen Differently 149
Section 3: Improved Listening Skills for Women and Men 160
Action Steps for Men 169
Action Steps for Women 170
CHAPTER 6 Men, Women, and Conflict: Take It Like a Man Versus Nice Girls Don’t Do Conflict 171
Learning Objectives 171
Introduction 172
Section 1: The Playground as Battleground 173
Section 2: Nice Girls Don’t Do Confl ict 188
Section 3: Play Fighting 190
Section 4: The Anger Advantage 194
Rule Makers and Rule Breakers: Is There a Double Standard in Expressing Anger? 202
Section 5: Crying as a Female Trademark 205
Action Steps for Men 215
Action Steps for Women 216
CHAPTER 7 He and She Wired 217
Learning Objectives 217
Introduction 218
Section 1: He and She: The Smiley Face Dilemma 219
How and Why He and She Use Emoticons 223
Section 2: E-Mail Showdown: One Sentence Versus One Paragraph 228
Section 3: Why Can’t He Be Nice? 232
Section 4: Can E-Mail Level the Playing Field for Women? 236
Action Steps for Men 239
Action Steps for Women 240
CHAPTER 8 Final Thoughts on Reaching
Across the Gender Divide 241
Learning Objectives 241
Introduction 242
Options for Closing the Training Program 242
Action Plan and Next Steps 256
CHAPTER 9 Example One-Hour Program 263
Learning Objectives 263
Introduction 264
Example 1: Conquering Conversational Collisions Between Men and Women 264
Example 2: Talk Remedies for Communication Between Men and Women 267
CHAPTER 10 A Half-Day Program 271
Learning Objectives 271
Introduction 272
Example 1: Conquering Conversational Collisions Between Men and Women 272
Example 2: Talk Remedies for Communication Between Men and Women 276
CHAPTER 11 A Full-Day Program 281
Learning Objectives 281
Introduction 282
Example 1: Conquering Conversational Collisions Between Men and Women 283
Example 2: Talk Remedies for Communication
Between Men and Women 289
Additional Instruments and Training Tools 297
Recommended Resources 305
References 307
Index 313
