Why Lawyers Are Like Lobsters (and Other Lessons on Surviving in the Law)

This is a handbook for all lawyers, past, present and future, even those who are not yet born. It hold the secrets of absolute and total success as a lawyer.

The reader will discover the legal significance of lobsters, rabbits, bulldogs and flatworms; the dangers of paper cuts and naked lawyers; the philosophical value of time sheets; how to know when you’re wrong, and when you’re wrong about being wrong. Included among the book’s many lessons on surviving in the law are:

• why mediocrity is the key to success in the law
• the entire law of equity in one haiku
• the equation to calculate how many units of billable time you need to record befor the end of your life
• how a law firm can achieve prominence, profit and perfection
• what Socrates would tell you over a latte and
• why lawyers are like lobsters.

Marcus Elliot was a barrister. His work primarily involved going to his office each day, sitting in front of his computer and typing. Sometimes he spoke to people on the phone. He was successful at all of these things. On occasion he went to Court.